Last Thursday, Cyprus’s elite “Z” unit—yes, that’s actually what they call themselves, like something out of a Marvel spin-off—descended on central Nicosia in a surprise blitz on electric scooters.
E-scooters, e-bikes, e-menaces. You name it, they were there.
By the end of the sweep, 18 riders had been slapped with citations and had their gadgets confiscated.
Presumably for “further inspection,” which sounds suspiciously like code for “we’re not quite sure what to do with them yet.”
Frankly, it’s about time.
These battery-powered battering rams have turned pavements into racetracks.
Half the time they’re piloted by teenagers who think they’re starring in Fast & Furious: Larnaca Drift. The other half, it’s grown adults in flip-flops doing 40kph.
Authorities say more crackdowns are coming. Good. These things are a menace.
You don’t need a crystal ball to see where this ends—serious injury, or worse.
And speaking of worse, the number of motorbike-related deaths in Cyprus this year has already hit 12.
That’s 46% of all road fatalities.
Last year’s total was 10. This year, we’ve matched the overall death toll already—and it’s only August.
Still, it’s not all doom and gloom.
In a rare moment of statistical sunshine, Cyprus recorded one of the lowest drowning rates in the EU in 2022.
Just 13 deaths. Luxembourg had one. Malta had three. Slovenia had 25, which is frankly baffling unless they’ve started holding swimming lessons in quarries.
And now, for the pièce de résistance: Kevin Spacey—yes, that Kevin Spacey—is coming to Limassol for a one-night-only jazz concert.
You couldn’t make it up.
The show, titled Kevin Spacey: Songs & Stories, promises 90 minutes of crooning and career anecdotes.
Cocktail attire required. Tickets start at €250, and if you fancy a meet-and-greet, a glass of bubbly, and a fruit platter, that’ll be £1,100. For that price, I’d expect the grapes to be peeled and the anecdotes to come with a legal disclaimer.
Still, if you’ve got the cash and a taste for jazz, it’s probably safer than riding an e-scooter through Nicosia.